We want to be attractive, likeable and sociable. Everybody's aim is to fish happiness out of satisfaction but no satisfaction is gained where there's no attraction. We need each other's company and the more we attract the right people, the more we shall be able to live a successful and fulfillling life.
So this list is not just a random selection of attractiveness tips, but a carefully chosen ways you can attract the right people, at the right time, at the right place and for the right purpose.
1. Develop a personality.
In other words "personal operating system"
Create your own reality. Make your own philosophies and principles. Define your own values and interests, instead of sticking to family beliefs and influence. Culture is not an obligation. Make your personality stand out by simply asserting unto your own "tastes" and "colours." Real people are attracted to personalities, not people.
2. Let go, the need for approval.
Always act on the basis of self-validation and approval. Respect relationship but do not neglect your super-ego.
3. Let go, the need of validation.
Do not allow yourself to be motivatd only by people's validation. If someone cannot value you or what you do, that person does not deserve you or what you hold as a value. Let your value be a driving force to your interests, choices and motivation.
4. Trust your natural propensity.
In other words "your instincts."
Trust those things you feel are right. Do not be afraid to take a strange step. We all make mistakes and learn from them. You can only develop your intuition rightly when you expose yourself to experimentation.
5. Start experimentation.
Do what you enjoy. Accept things and people around you on the basis of love, not obligation. Let the excitement of both failure and success rule your propensity.
6. Accept others as they are.
Let go of the culture and superstitions of your social environment that only allows you to love when "they" love. Upgrade yourself above the level of criticism and judgement. Focus on people's strengths rather than their faults. Focus on their abilities and values.
7. Listen "actively"
Really hear people! Go be beyond just listening, show people that you understand them. Never underestimate the value of sentiment. Share the joy, as well as the pains.
8. Resolve unresolved matters.
Ask for forgiveness from whom you ought to. Forgive those you need to forgive. After that, be their friends. Do exciting things together. That's the only way to forget after you've forgiven. Rather than unfriending people that hurt you, and it shall create a new pace of attractiveness.
9. Embrace a healthy lifestyle.
Eat good foods. Participate in daily exercise to improve your mental and physical health. Do this because you love and respect yourself, not because you want to please someone else.
10. Make things happen.
Explore your enthusiasm, for your talent is on that path. Rather than waiting for someone to "create" your life, be a creator. Be the cause of the good happening around you.
11. Define the meaning of "care"
Show people you care, not because it's an obligatory responsibility, but because you really care. Don't just talk about it, be meaning people about it, and people are going to recognize the exceptionality of your behaviour.
12. Require the best of people.
Do not only see people as they are; but look deep into their potentials and reflect that vision to them. See them when they are invisible and this may result, not only to irresistable attractiveness, but a boost to your self-esteem.
13. Ensure your own primary needs are met Don't compromise this! Attractive behaviour is a fruit of inner peace, and deep inner peace is only attained when "all" needs are met. Remember, NEEDS, not WANTS. After a proper discernment, communicate them in your relationships.
14. Let it be known, what is valuable to you
What you think is important is really important. Exhibiting your real sense of value allow people to treat you rightfully; never to be unpredictable to them and never to be hurted by them.
15. Speak constructively.
Never ever offer constructive criticism. Instead, offer constructive advice, strategy, inspiration, motivation and encouragement. While people downgrade, try your best to uplift.
16. Laugh easily.
Life is fun. Do not take life seriously. Everything is vanity, except your soul. Feed it with fun and joy. Smile! It makes people feel good and in turn, deepens your joy.
17. Cease gossip.
Do not talk "negative" about people neither on the basis of power or intrigue. Say behind them, what you can say around them. Bad imformation about people are not meant to be shared.
18. "Do unto them what you want others to do unto you"
"Love your neighbour as yourself" for this is the first commandment of attractiveness. Never take chance to hurt someone intently. Let the "spirit" say "good" about about you...to the spirit of people around you.
19. Make requests, not complaints.
Never whine or complain about situations or attitude. Try to figure out the "need" out of a problem and present it as a request, rather than wasting your sanity on worry and complaints.
20. Handle situations fully.
Always deal with negative issues kindly but fast. Avoid resentment. Use skill and experience to completely rid away faults, as soon as they occur.
21. Allow no emotion in your judgement.
The brain is more powerful than emotions. Never make dicisions when you're too upset or too happy. Be composed and let your intellects rule everything.
22. Be done with arguments.
Always smile and leave until the situation becomes resolvable. Allow arguments to the minimum and if possible, non. Healthy communication is the key to peaceful negotiation.
23. Offer help, only when asked.
Don't assume that people want help in every situation. You can't know the best for them. So act only on the basis of request, to save yourself the bustle. In short, people will love it when don't underestimate their abilities.
24. Care deeply, but remain detached.
It is human to share sentiments, solve people's problem and be with them in times of need but is never wise let that problem transmited to you. Selflessness is good, but doing good without wisdom invariably accomplishes evil.
25. See with your heart, not eyes.
Financial prosperity, notoriety, elegancy, should all mean nothing to determine your behavior toward people. The authentic being inside them is far more valuable. Learn to see people beyond superficiality.
26. Never say yes, when you mean no.
Saying no when it's yes and vice-versa is a crime against your emotions. For when it usually break-down when frustrated out of deprivation and dishonour. Which manifests as nervous-breakdown. Have you ever seen people with emotional breakdown? Unattractive right! Say yes only when it's given freely; say no only when your heart talks so.
27. Tell others you're grateful
Many people are ignorance of gratefulness! Be an exception today by telling people how grateful you are to have them in your life. Let them recognize that you are aware of their value in your life.
28. Never play the guilt card.
Never intentionally talk bad about people's choices and dicisions. You're not much brilliant and it hurts to show people that you can hurt verbally. People can never be guilty of their on choices in life, as long as they are going to live the life. So away from manipulations!
29. Give more than is expected.
People are going to be much much glad to have more than they expect. It shows that you are more valuable than they can imagine.
30. Embrace inter-developemental relationships.
Relationships are meant to be satisfying, rewarding and uplifting. Never be controlling, dependent or co-dependent, for this 3 traits do take away the 3 (SRU) in a successful relationship.
31. Be open to learning.
Smart people are everyday learners, which makes them so charming and admirable. Never flaunt your intelligence or reject the "little" teachers. Regardless of your experience, education or skills, you must have something to learn from the least individual. And that knowledge acquired when utilized wisely, can make a greater you.
32. Be a big person.
Never ever ignore praises because you're thought to be humble. People that are overly humble are neither charming nor attractive. Be a big person. Do not diminish others either. Acknowledge the good about yourself. Feel the deserved power flooding in your spirit and smile. You are living in a free world!
33. Be more engaged than engaging.
Always use the word "you" more than "I" in a conversation. Show an undistracted interest in others through non-exergerated active listening. Reflect back to others intently.
34. Be confident enough to be humble.
You are free to acknowledge your flaws, faults, defects and failures, and also free to accept that they do not define your personality. Laugh at yourself. See the positive side of your person and go everywhere with your head held high.
35. Give gifts that others want
Gift does not call for self-denial, but love and fun. Don't give out what's important to you just to impress.
36. Do not fight the flow.
Stop struggling against people or situations you cannot control. Mentally and physically, detach yourself from them. Free yourself today!
37. Detach from adrenaline.
Get rid of unnecessary people, things and materials...out of your life. Allow yourself to focus on the real you, not the you made-up of things. Free yourself from stress to create more room for creativity.
38. Challenge yourself constantly.
Mediocres are never attractive, neither are they happy people. Do not languish on past achievements and accomplishements. Explore the big world. Even the greatest goal achiever in the world did not reach half of what is to be explored in his life. So what are you waiting for? Move on with all the enthusiasm needed to make things "occur" in your life.
39. Keep evolving.
Stick to the path of self-developement and stay alert for the coming opprtunities to grow. A better living can simply achieved through constant mental improvement.
40. Embrace the incredible power of now
Never miss the excitement around you. You are free to dream anything. But do not allow fantasies to take your mind away fron the joy today has in store. Don't live in the past, unless you like guilt. Don't live in the future, unless you like fear. Enjoy the incridible joy of now.
41. Accept that you won't be attractive to everyone.
The aim here is to be attractive to yourself, doing things than make you happy about who you are. Following the above rules, you are going to create a huge colony of attractors, but always the fact that you won't be attracted to everyone. Some people would never like to see you improve, talkmore of being outgoing and all attractive. It's natural to be hated. And believe me, having a hater makes life more exciting.
What other qualities or actions make people attractive to you? Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below....
