Relationships are meant to make us happy, feel satisfied and be responsible for other's physical, emotional, and mental well being. Bad relationships are the reasons for insecurity and fear in the lives of "good" people today. Before you start a relationship, make sure you can overcome the following reasons why most relationships don't work out for good.
1. Getting attracted to another person.
Nature rules everything. We're made to be attracted to attractive things. And this attraction becomes naturally intense when it's the opposite-sex. Regardless of the love, care and trust that bind you together as couples, you can't help it, but you must be attracted to some other attractive persons. Go to somewhere else and you shall be a ttracted to another party. It doesn't mean they are the right people. It doesn't mean they are have all you need. It's the work of nature, and you must be realistic about it.
Whenever you're attracted to someone, compliment, and move on. Many people might get attracted to you, but for the respect they have for your choice and relationships, they can't get closer. Know that you cannot be in a relationship with all the attractive people, or you're going to fail in everything. Everything.
2. Infedility/cheating in a relationship.
Dishonesty, insecurity, and revenge are the 3 main reasons why people cheat in a relationship. One stupid reason is the lose of affection toward a partner.
When you feel that way, wake up and work on that affection. Just the way it can be destroyed, passion can be created. If your partner is cheating, make sure you're still the attractive, well spirited person he/she knew in the initial of your relationship before you can complain.
If you're the cheat, give attention to your partner. Cultivate your lover. Make her/him that person he was when he was attractive.
3. Irrelevant physical compatibility. Got to do with weight, height, colour etc.
Ain't that funny? Colour and height cannot be changed easily within a relationship. If you met him/her short, that means he/she is still short. Even if you didn't know you don't like short partner, or may be you were blind, it's still not a reason to break-up.
What about colour? If she was black and she's black, you shouldn't have problem with that..., even if your sense of colour have changed overtime.
If she was white and now black, and you didn't recognize she was faking it in the first place, you have a good reason to worry. Because fake people are not good people--check personality, and you shall prove this. But if you knew from the beginning that she was artificial and loved her just the way she was, may be you should let her be who she wants to be, even now that she wants to remain natural....black.
If she was black, and now turning "white"...red. I don't know. May be it's the change of weather. If not, she's upgrading her self for you OR someone else. BEWARE!
Weight. If you're in Africa, controlling weight gain might be offensive, since it has to do with reducing the intake of carbohydrate. But seriously, let you and you're partner talk about this. Tell him/her how you feel about the new weight lose/gain. Do everything in your power to support your lover to become an, at least, eye pleasant person.
4. Less attracted to the partner in a sexual way.
As long as you're not dealing with a gender-swing, sexual attraction is also a stupid reason why relationships break up. Just like a tool, let's say car, you become used to the wheel and feel less pasionate about driving it, your relationship might come to that point. In our case, we can't change the car but we can furnish it, make new seat covers, decorate it, change the steer wheel and even the driving style--our route. If you know what am rambling about, you can support the fact that lack of sexual attraction should not be a reason for a relationship to fall apart. Unless, your partner don't want to cooperate in spicing up the thing.
5. Lack of proper body maintenance.
In my book "The secret to long-term successful relationship" which is to be published by the end of the year, I mentioned how the law of energetic works in cultivating an ever pleasant partner. Here's the tip:
People influence people. Passion influence passion. Attitude influence attitude. Be the role-model of decency, cleanliness and presence. It's really frustrating to be with a partner that's plagued with a body odour but your support in positive attitude will take care of everything.
Be the best you want to see in your partner. Get rid of your "attitude odour", and you've got rid of hers.
6. Conflict in taste and desire. Aham!
This is what usually happen when love becomes blind. Lust, love that breeds from a physical look, does not last long-term. Attitude and lifestyle should determine your choice of partner, not stressfully, looks. Compatibility is derived from openness and realistic judgements, which brings about matched opinions between couples.
7. Comparing the man or lady to others in the society frequently.
The first step to failure after a success is comparing your success to others. Everybody has different needs and different priorities. People make choices for good, for their own good, not you. Before you condemn what you have, where you are and who you are, first, go through a proper self-actualization practice and use the result.
8. Lack of communication and constant nagging.
Where there's good communication, disagreement is limited. Where there's nagging, good communication is lacking. Communicate everything, anytime. Listen and answere the questions.
Regardless of your point, nagging can sweep away every bit of sanity. A satisfactory answer cannot be achieved through constant questioning, but through a logical and less occuring approach.
9. Unnecessary arguement brought up in a relationship.
Do you always argue about how she/he is squeezing out the toothpaste? What about how she holds the kitchen knife? This are the most irrelevant issues to argue about.
Similarly, arguing about people's life and how they treat your relationship is always pointless. Avoid, circumvent and be free. Define the meaning of maturity in your relationship; through an attitude that represents the claim.
10. Excessive complain and lack of trust in a relationship
It's true that a trust wasted, if possible at all, cannot be redeemed in full. But if you can just LET GO of the past and live in the presence, renewal is definite. Transparency, when exercised consistently, is a sure-fire way to achieve trust, influencing your partner to do the same.
You don't have to be in control all the time. Learn to be liberal, even in your relationship. Allow your lover to improve with time. Rather than criticizing a failed action, encourage and correct in love and harmony.
Real love is all about respect. Build a personality, to deserve the respect. Respect your partner, and you shall claim it.
If you found this post useful, be sure to check out the guide to Maintaining a Successful Relationship by Joshua Daniel. It’s free, and part of the comprehensive emotional intelligence education.
