If you are single and looking for love, it is likely that you have abeliefthat is blocking you from finding that great relationship you desire. We call this belief, "The Myth of Accidental Love."
The Myth of Accidental Loveis something that we are introduced to at a very young age (usually in a Disney movie), and it shows up in all parts of our lives. The "cute" couple we know that met at a bookstore, the endless repetition of pop songs about love, and the latest box office romanceflicks all teach us that love is something we stumble upon, sparks fly, and we live happily ever after.
Our society seems obsessed with the idea that love is supposed to be accidental. That one day you'll just bump into the "right person" at the supermarket, or in the line at Starbucks, and you'll just magically know how to make it all work out.
The language we use around love even includes this idea of it being an accident, i.e. "I fell in love." As if there was banana peel you slipped on and landed in love. The main problem with falling in love is that it is just as easy to fall out of love.
If you're reading this right now, it's likely that this magical accidental love hasn't happened for you in the way that you'd hoped. If you make one change in the way that you think about looking for love, it will make a positive impact on your results:
Decide to create love on purpose!
We've heard it time and again from those looking for love:
*."It's more romantic when it happens by accident."
*."You just cannot rush these things."
*."It'll happen when it's supposed to happen."
This list could go on and on....
Love on purpose means that you make having love (the kind that is in your true heart's desire) a priority. This means spending your time, energy, and money on making love the most important thing in your life.
Have you invested resources to support you on your journey in looking for love?
The fear that many of you may have is that you will spend your time, energy, and money searching for love and you won't find it. You've been disappointed in the past and you want to avoid setting yourself up for disappointment again. If you just act like it isn't important to you, then you won't be hurt.
We want to ask you — is this strategy working?
You may also fear that making love such a large priority in your life will make you appear desperate and actually push love away (this is one of the biggest myths of accidental love). This comes from a belief that love works differently than everything else in life. Will you be more successful or less successful in your career if you act like your job is not important to you? Will you be more likely to lose weight if you worry about how people view your pursuit of getting into shape? Will world peace just happen when we least expect it?
When you apply this logic to other areas of your life you begin to realize how ridiculous it is. We want to give it to you straight.
Consider this Tough Love:
If you are only wishing and hoping for love and not taking action, then you are out of integrity. Your lack of ACTION is creating an internal conflict. When you desire something and yet refuse to take positive action towards making that thing happen, you are stuck.
Or perhaps you are hung up on someone from your past — "The one that got away." You believe that you met your soulmate already, and it just didn't work out. If only you could go back in time and fix the mistakes you made, then you would be happy. We have one question for you: would you rather choose to stay stuck on someone from the past and feel the pang of familiar heartbreak? Or would you like to create your ideal relationship with someone you have not met yet?
Start looking for love in a way that makes having it a priority. If you're too busy to make yourself available to the easiest resource around — online dating— it's time to fess up and be honest about whether or not you truly want to have love in your life.
If you've not had luck with online dating in the past, then it's time to up-level your skillset. There are literally dozens of online dating experts to help you! Have you invested any time or resources in gaining the skills necessary to be successful with online and offline dating?
Is this how you went about finding a job or having a career? We think not. You made a choice about a career path and learned HOW to do your job, and invested time and money to be good at what you do.
The same success can be yours in love if you shift your mindset to one of creating it on purpose, rather than wishing and hoping that your ideal mate stumbles into the same party or workplace as you.